Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
