Owner jokes
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!