Owner jokes

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!