Overdue jokes

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?

Palpatine: Renew it!

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.

Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.