Online shopping jokes

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.

What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?

Halloween. Free delivery!

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

Cyber Monday

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

Kobi shops at Aldi.

I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.