Online shopping jokes

I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.

Cyber Monday

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

Kobi shops at Aldi.

Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?

Halloween. Free delivery!