murder-suicide jokes

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

Murder, murder, suicide by police.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.