Mission jokes

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?

You abort it.

How do NASA plan parades?

They plan-et.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

What's NASA's grossest mission?

Probing Uranus.

What do sperm say while just in?

"We need to go deeper."

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

What's the grossest mission NASA could do?

Probing Uranus.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.

On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"

Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.