Mercenary jokes

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.