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Heroin Monkey
2 years ago
A screenshot of a Daily Mail article. The headline reads: "Young man forced to post a photo of his passport on Facebook to prove his real name is 'Phuc Dat Bich'... after his account is banned THREE times". There is a smaller picture of the young man, and a passport image with the name "Phuc Dat Bich", and the dates 03 JAN 1992, 17 SEP 2013, and 17 SEP 2023. The passport is from Australia.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a video with 5 figures resembling Hitler standing on a white bed. The figures wear similar brown coats with red, green, and purple variations. Above the video, there is a text saying, "Me: \"Why do I keep on having strange thoughts? It's almost like I'm going crazy.\" The videos I watch at 2 am:". Below the video, there is the text "5 Little Hitlers are jumping on the bed".
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A picture of a small kitten, illuminated by a bright light with text on top that reads "Fully charged".
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A cartoon of King Julien in a wheelchair with the text: "Mauricio I can't. I can't move it move it anymore."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a 'No Fishing' sign on a wooden post with a person's hands holding a phone in front of it, displaying a fishing scene from the video game Minecraft. The sign reads 'NO FISHING' in large bold letters followed by 'PRIVATE PROPERTY' in smaller print.
  • 1
  • Brick 100
    2 years ago

    Brick 100

    A pixel art image of a single brick with holes, rendered in shades of orange and red on a light purple background.
  • 7
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a comparison of two images of trucks with the text 'how it started' and 'how it's going' written above it. The first image on the left shows a white truck with its front hood open and two cartoon hands pointing at the vehicle. The second image on the right shows two trucks in a romantic embrace, framed by a red heart. The image also has the user name "dexter" and the handle "@DexterSoWhat" and the text "So now even trucks getting more love than me?"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a parody of the movie poster for "Jaws" with the title "JAWAS". Instead of a shark, there are several Jawas swimming in formation under a swimmer.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image is a split panel featuring two figures. On the left is a depiction of Jesus with a halo, and the text “Stop asking for automatic rifles and goth girls.” On the right is a Wojak character looking upset and the text “please J-man”.
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A white chicken stands on a skateboard. There is text that says, "I'm outside bitch open the door".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."
  • 0
  • mal
    2 years ago

    happy valentines day everyon!

    A pink Valentine's Day card with a portrait of Johann Sebastian Bach. The text on the card reads "come bach my love", and is signed "To: WJE From: MAP".
  • 10
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A stick figure of a child asks his dad, who is sitting at a desk in front of a monitor displaying a Bitcoin chart, "Are you winning Dad?" The dad responds with "No, pack your things, I just lost the house."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image is split into two parts. The top part features a handwritten note that says, "If an alien came to visit, I would kill it. By Bella". Below is a black and white image of a stern-looking man with a Hello Kitty bow in his hair.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    Four dogs sitting in a circle on a sandy beach holding paws in what looks like a satanic ritual. The text says "Satanic ritual to summon the Goodest Boy Ever."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A black and white photo of soldiers landing on a beach from a boat. In the middle of the photo is the cartoon character Chris McLean with his arms spread out in a welcoming manner. The text on the image reads, "Alright campers, today's challenge is gonna be a hard one."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A cartoon image of Spongebob's front door with two green balls stuck in the crack. The text says "Spongebob open the door. My balls are stuck."
  • 4
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