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Heroin Monkey
1 year ago
The image shows a large stone head with closed eyes asking, "Your gifts are accepted, what does your mortal heart desire?" Below, a hooded figure answers, "Lord of the Rings Trilogy, completely the same. But the orks sound aggressively French." The hooded figure then asks "...Why?"
  • 0
  • Toast ツ
    1 year ago
    The image contains two posts from the anonymous image board 4chan. The first post is by someone who was released from prison after serving four years for a bank robbery, though they pled down to aggravated assault. They now wonder what to do for work besides drive a truck. The second post replies with a plan to start a youtube channel to critique bank robberies in video games, and eventually talk about prison life to get 350k subscribers and make more money than most people.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a Google search page for "sigma". The results are encircled and connected by lines to multiple images of Patrick Bateman.
  • 0
  • Nateツ
    1 year ago
    A man in a green sweater is standing next to a grill. He is pouring a liquid from a white bottle onto the burning fire in the grill. The text above the image reads: "When you know what you're about to say is gonna cause a s*** storm, but you say it anyway."
  • 0
  • Eltheariesisunstoppable
    1 year ago
    A brown dog looking shocked at a phone in its human hand. Above the dog it reads: "Me learning what's happening in the world through memes because I don't watch the news anymore."
  • 0
  • Alastor Wade.
    1 year ago

    Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

    The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a four panel meme, comparing math functions and social interactions. The first panel is labeled "Taking to my x" and contains a chat bubble saying "Hi, what's up". The second panel is labeled "Taking to my y" and contains the same chat bubble, but oriented vertically. The third panel is labeled "Taking to my cosin" and shows a sinusoidal wave graph with a chat bubble overlay. The fourth panel is labeled "Me and the boys getting a tan" and shows a graphic of four bird-like figures with a horizontal line below them and a chart on the left side. The last panel is labeled "Me committing arcsin" and shows a graph of a logarithmic arc. The website address boredpanda.com is at the bottom of the image.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a post on a social media site. The main text says "i'm leaving this fuckin server bruh what." Underneath that is a user profile picture of an older man with the text "happy wednesday!!" superimposed over it. The user name is "OhioSigmaRizzler_14/88". Underneath that is "cyk_blyad2" and then "ALBANIA / KOSOVO" with a flag icon.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0
  • Bluntlord
    1 year ago

    2024

    The image shows a split view of the same person. On the left, they have shorter hair, makeup and wear a green t-shirt, with the text "What are your Pronouns?" written in yellow. On the right, they are shirtless with facial hair, and text in purple that says "I'm a She/Them Titties".
  • 0
  • The Radio Demon
    1 year ago

    That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

    The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".
  • 1
  • Kristian‽
    1 year ago

    for big dave fan

    A man is presenting six plates with different pasta dishes on a table, next to a vertical ranking board. The text says: "What is the most Fuckable Pasta? I Fucked 6 different Pastas to Find Out!" and is presented on a Pornhub interface.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screencap of a Pornhub video featuring a man standing in front of six plates of pasta. The title reads "What is the most fuckable pasta? I fucked 6 different pastas to find out!" The video has 134,867 views, an 88% rating, and was posted 10 months ago.
  • 3
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is divided into three sections. The first section says "What 'Lefty' shills want you to think:" and shows portraits of five US presidents with halos and jet fighters in the background. The second section says "What 'Righty' shills want you to think:" and shows the exact same portraits of the same five presidents, with halos and jet fighters in the background. The third section says "The Truth:" and shows the same five positions populated by different dinosaur-like creatures, with the same jet fighters in the background.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a question "What's up with Gods holding their right hand up?" above four pictures. The first picture shows Jesus with his right hand raised. The second picture shows Shiva with his right hand raised. The third picture shows Robbie Rotten with his right hand raised, and the last picture shows Buddha with his right hand raised.
  • 0
  • Izzawa
    1 year ago

    🤣🤣🤣

    The image is a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a winged character with horns asks another character with a halo, "SIR, WHAT ARE YOU?". The second panel shows the character with a halo holding two pieces of bread to his face, answering "AN IDIOT SANDWICH."
  • 6
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a two panel meme. The top panel shows a screenshot from a game show, where a male contestant is looking at the camera, a lifeline bar chart appears on the screen above a question with four answers. The question reads: "Equal to roughly 746 watts, what animal-based unit is used to measure the rate at which work is done?" The four answers are: "A: Horsepower", "B: Donkeystrength", "C: Llamathrust", and "D: Zebraforce". The bottom panel shows a man in a suit slapping the roof of a car while speaking to another man. The caption below the car states, "This baby has the thrust of 340 llamas under the hood".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A close-up photo shows a bag of cranberries with the text "Fucked with Fruit Nutrients" on it. Below the photo is a comment thread, where a user asks if someone violated their cranberries, and someone else comments on how it would be great to have nutrients directly absorbed into them.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"
  • 0
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