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1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

2024

The image shows a split view of the same person. On the left, they have shorter hair, makeup and wear a green t-shirt, with the text "What are your Pronouns?" written in yellow. On the right, they are shirtless with facial hair, and text in purple that says "I'm a She/Them Titties".

The Radio Demon

That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".

for big dave fan

A man is presenting six plates with different pasta dishes on a table, next to a vertical ranking board. The text says: "What is the most Fuckable Pasta? I Fucked 6 different Pastas to Find Out!" and is presented on a Pornhub interface.

A screencap of a Pornhub video featuring a man standing in front of six plates of pasta. The title reads "What is the most fuckable pasta? I fucked 6 different pastas to find out!" The video has 134,867 views, an 88% rating, and was posted 10 months ago.

The image is divided into three sections. The first section says "What 'Lefty' shills want you to think:" and shows portraits of five US presidents with halos and jet fighters in the background. The second section says "What 'Righty' shills want you to think:" and shows the exact same portraits of the same five presidents, with halos and jet fighters in the background. The third section says "The Truth:" and shows the same five positions populated by different dinosaur-like creatures, with the same jet fighters in the background.

The image shows a question "What's up with Gods holding their right hand up?" above four pictures. The first picture shows Jesus with his right hand raised. The second picture shows Shiva with his right hand raised. The third picture shows Robbie Rotten with his right hand raised, and the last picture shows Buddha with his right hand raised.

🤣🤣🤣

The image is a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a winged character with horns asks another character with a halo, "SIR, WHAT ARE YOU?". The second panel shows the character with a halo holding two pieces of bread to his face, answering "AN IDIOT SANDWICH."

The image is a two panel meme. The top panel shows a screenshot from a game show, where a male contestant is looking at the camera, a lifeline bar chart appears on the screen above a question with four answers. The question reads: "Equal to roughly 746 watts, what animal-based unit is used to measure the rate at which work is done?" The four answers are: "A: Horsepower", "B: Donkeystrength", "C: Llamathrust", and "D: Zebraforce". The bottom panel shows a man in a suit slapping the roof of a car while speaking to another man. The caption below the car states, "This baby has the thrust of 340 llamas under the hood".

A close-up photo shows a bag of cranberries with the text "Fucked with Fruit Nutrients" on it. Below the photo is a comment thread, where a user asks if someone violated their cranberries, and someone else comments on how it would be great to have nutrients directly absorbed into them.

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

The image is a two-panel comic. In the first panel, Santa asks a young boy named Tommy what he wants for Christmas. Tommy replies that he wants a little brother. The second panel shows Santa with a woman. The tone is sexually suggestive.

The image shows three panels. The first panel has a picture of a person with the text "Me" below it. The second panel has text that reads "Not knowing what the plastic tube on the end of a shoelace is" and shows some other people in the background. The third panel has another person with text below it reading "That one Phineas & Ferb episode".

A close-up photo of a deodorant can with the text "WHAT THE HELL" above the can and "WERE THEY THINKING" below the instruction. The instruction says "SHAKE WELL" and there is an illustration of a hand shaking a can. There is also a "Deodorant directions" label.

The meme shows two images: The top one is a picture of Bill Gates in 1989 with the text: "It's amazing to think what great and exciting things people will be doing with PC's in 30 years". The bottom image is of a comment from Jedi_Master_Yoda69 saying: "your anakin voice is turning me on, beat the meat i must."

The image shows a text conversation between a student and a teacher, where the student replies "nothing", but the mind is shown as a picture of Steve Austin with red eyes, a red nose and a cigarette, set against a snowy background. The text below the picture says "stoned cold steve austin".

A text message conversation shows a question: "what is LGBT?" The response is a photo of a lasagna and garlic bread with the text "Lasagna garlic bread time". A second message says "Thanks"

A package of Oreos is shown with the text "All cum OWO" written on the label. The standard text "Oreo" has been replaced by "OWO". Below that is written "What's this!" and an arrow is pointing to the cookies.

A tweet from TIME saying "Norway is happiest country in the world. What's the secret?" and below that a tweet from Secular Talk saying "I can't believe that a wealthy country with free healthcare & education, high wages, a strong middle class and nearly a month paid vacation time by law is happy." There is also a picture of a globe between the two tweets.

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