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Shitpost master-general

A screenshot featuring a video of a wealthy man in a white shirt tasting wine presented by a server holding a bottle. Text overlays indicate the location is 'Marbella Club, Málaga.' The comment section shows a user asking, 'what happens if he dislikes the wine,' and another user replying with the extremely vulgar and dark punchline: 'He rapes the owner of the restaurant.'

Shitpost master-general

A three-panel comic. The first panel shows a hand reaching to press one of two identical red buttons on a control panel. Above this panel, the text asks, "What happens when you vote?" The second panel is blank. The third panel shows a close-up of a man with a large, hooked nose and an evil grin, looking directly forward.

The image shows a block of text in a small font against a dark background. The text discusses themes of artificiality, resentment, and the conflict between being built for a purpose and being blamed for wanting.

A four-panel comic featuring two characters: one with a beard, and two with a fairy-like appearance, with pink and green hair. In the first panel, the bearded character wants a "100K loan" for his business, and in the second panel, the fairy character denies the loan. In the third panel, the bearded character requests the loan for a psychology degree, and in the fourth panel, the fairy agrees that's a great idea.

A page from a parody 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book featuring handwritten text and a cartoon illustration of Greg Heffley and his mother in a car. The text describes Greg witnessing his mother's infidelity and his resulting feelings of disgust and distrust, culminating in a tense conversation where she asks him to keep the secret.

The image shows a four-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers." The second panel shows Wanda, a fairy character with pink hair, looking distressed and saying, "Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity." In the third panel, the same male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Cosmo, I wish to change the mass of the proton." The fourth panel shows Cosmo, a fairy character with green hair, smiling and saying, "LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens."

A hand is holding a pager-like device. The screen shows a notification from the Duolingo app, featuring the Duolingo owl, with the text "Look like you missed your Hebrew lesson again. You know what happens now!"

big [fire] balls

Two images show a conversation. In the top image, a man asks a priest, "What happens after you die?" In the bottom image, the priest responds, "Lots of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you."

Text: THEORY: My father leaving me is a Drake diss. Reason 1: My father left without saying a word or giving a reason, a reference to how Drake sneak disses people with no direct confrontation. Reason 2: My father is a big Rihanna fan, we all know what happened between Rihanna and Drake...

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a split view of John F. Kennedy. On the left a black-and-white photo inside a red circle shows Kennedy riding in a car during a parade, on the right a color portrait of Kennedy smiling. Below, the text "You'll never believe what happened at this parade (it blew my mind)" is shown. A YouTube interface is at the bottom with the channel name "JFK".

A screenshot of a tweet from NATO that says "@NATO blocked you. You are blocked from following @NATO and viewing @NATO's Tweets". The text above the screenshot reads "Me, hungover: I don't remember what happened last night. Last night:".

A screenshot of a messaging conversation. The first message reads, "This is Gavin mom. I am sorry to inform you." The next message reads, "What happens?" The final message reads, "He killed himself." Below this is the word, "wompwomp."

The image shows a split screen. At the top left, there is an image of the cartoon characters Tom and Angela hugging. Below them, there are two cats, one white and one black, eating from a bowl on the floor. Above them, the text reads "freaky ahh cat" with emojis and below the cats there is the text "What happened to talking Tom and Angela?" with emojis.

𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂𝔂

The image shows two panels. The left panel depicts a person lying in a hospital bed with tubes in his nose. The text above him reads: "When your boss asks for proof you're in hospital." The right panel shows the character Baby Yoda. Above him the text reads: "Boss: You should've been here at 8. Me: Why, what happened at 8?"

The image shows a puppet of Ernie looking angry holding a long thin object. Below him another puppet, Bert, looks terrified. There is text below the puppets: "This is what happens to snitches!" Ernie suddenly shouted. The last thing Bert ever saw was his own blood spraying across the mirror.

Eltheariesisunstoppable

A brown dog looking shocked at a phone in its human hand. Above the dog it reads: "Me learning what's happening in the world through memes because I don't watch the news anymore."

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

A tweet shows a school board proposing a list of names for a school. These names include "Drew Brees Elementary", "Bruce Lee Elementary", "John Cena Elementary School", "Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance", and "Schoolie McSchoolface". The tweet comments, "This is what happens when you let the students submit new names for their school."

THE HOOD

A man with a black hat and blue shirt is saying, "What happens in the hood stays in the hood".

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