Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Size Memes

Heroin Monkey

An image shows a large golden retriever and a small terrier-like dog standing side-by-side in mud. The mud covers the smaller dog much higher than the larger dog. The text reads: "How deep is the mud? Depends on who you ask." Below the image are comments, one saying "i don't get it" and another saying "Short people have less value".

Heroin Monkey

A close-up shot of a human hand with the index finger slightly raised, set against a white background. Black text is overlaid next to the hand. The text reads: I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT OUR PINKIES ARE SMALLER SO THAT THEY FIT IN OUR DICK HOLES EASIER.

Heroin Monkey

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

Face mcshooty

A screenshot from Dragonball Z with the text: "When you date a girl with small hands cuz it will make your [penis] looks bigger."

Unimportant Intelligence

Low quality

A screenshot of a tweet stating NASA uses only 15 digits of Pi for interplanetary travel. According to the tweet, at 40 digits, one could calculate the circumference of a circle the size of the visible universe. Below is an image of the Engineer character from the video game Team Fortress 2, with the text "YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU ARE AN ENGINEER WHO ONLY USES 3 DIGITS OF PI TO BUILD A SKYSCRAPER."

Heroin Monkey

A slightly desaturated image shows a pair of khaki pants with the text "finally found some pants in my size" over them.

Heroin Monkey

A map of Italy is shown with a very long boot photoshopped onto the peninsula. The text reads: "why tf y'all say Italy looks like a boot it'd be so long" with a crying-laughing emoji.

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A news headline reads, "An asteroid the size of a small town is headed straight towards India." An illustration shows an asteroid headed toward India from space.

Evil Duck Lords Of America

An image of a giant yellow rubber duck with a street lamp in front of it. A seagull is perched on top of the lamp. The text "from 2017 The Guardian" is in the bottom right corner.

Evil Duck Lords Of America

The image is a two-panel comic. In the first panel, a duck is struggling to hold an oversized smartphone, with a speech bubble saying, "Must... Send... Text..." In the second panel, the same duck is holding a small smartphone, exclaiming, "OOH! LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE, USELESS THING!"

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets are shown in a side by side comparison. The first tweet reads: "To be fair, you could drive for 149 hours across Vatican City if you drive slow enough." The second tweet below the first one reads: "You can drive for 149 hours across Russia and still be in Russia". The second tweet also includes an image of the Russian map with a line of travel highlighted. It shows the route from west to east of Russia and has a text bubble displaying '149 hr'.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a hand holding three large caliber bullets with blue tips. The text on the box behind it reads: "RATSHOT, 50 BMG, 10 COUNT. FOR RODENTS OF EQUAL SIZE". Below this is a picture showing a man in blue with a glow that reads "50 BMG Ratshot", facing another glowing figure that reads "Rat"

Heroin Monkey

A large roll of toilet paper on a stand in a bathroom next to a toilet. The text above the image reads, "Went to my buddy's house and he thought this absolute monster was gonna slip by without further inquiry."

Willy b

A digitally altered image shows a small person in a suit standing among larger people. Text at the bottom reads, "Neat."

Anonymous

A screenshot of Twitter posts. The first post reads, "some of y'alls kids got some BIG ass heads." The following comments respond to this observation about head size.

rapboat

A picture shows a black man with braided hair and a black jacket, he has a serious look on his face. The text overlay reads: "It's just big me." -The rapper shorter than Wolverine.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a male height chart. At the top, for the height of 6'3, 6'2 and 6'1, is a tall robot. For the height of 5'11, 5'10 and 5'9, there's a crying Wojak, with the text "I am six foot!!! I am six foot!!!" under it. For the heights from 5'8 to 5'3, a cute kitten is pictured in a towel.

Heroin Monkey

A Hot Pockets package with the text "Made with 100% existential dread. THE ENDLESS COSMIC VOID with the sound of a thousand collapsing stars in a suffocating groan." Instead of a typical filling, the inside shows black tentacles and other strange shapes. There is also text describing the product as "OVERWHELMINGLY STUFFED WITH VISIONS OF THE ABYSS -THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE - THE LENGTH OF TIME - THE EDGE OF REALITY" The label says "Nestle Hot Pockets"

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A bar chart shows the percentage of Brits and Americans who think they could beat different animals in a fight, including rat, house cat, goose, medium-sized dog, eagle, large dog, chimpanzee, king cobra, kangaroo, wolf, crocodile, gorilla, lion, elephant, and grizzly bear. There's an image of a person boxing a kangaroo.

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