Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Seconds Memes

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Jazzy💕

COSMO um???

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first message reads, "well, i like pussy". The second message reads, "but i also love blach's bussy."

Heroin Monkey

The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."

Jazzy💕

A meme shows a dog with a telephone receiver at its ear. The text above shows a conversation between 911 and a dog, where the dog reports that its owner has been gone for .02 seconds, and 911 asks if the dog has tried eating the couch.

Inessa :)

A conversation between two people is displayed in a text message format. The first message reads 'You have attachment issues. Please fix it.' The second message reads 'Sorry for the confusion, I meant the file attachment.'

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

ur momy

alex

The image is a three panel collage of a young woman with long dark hair. The first panel is a close-up of her face looking sad with a single tear. The second panel shows her looking upward with a finger pulling her eyelid down. The third panel shows her smiling directly at the camera. The text above the image reads: "When he cute, loyal, texts back in 2 seconds, likes the same music as u, and puts up with ur mood swings and attitude."

Wade

Maid Outfit

A comic panel with a character wearing a white outfit with a hood asking "YOU GONNA KILL ME, ZODIAC?" A figure in a black mask replies "KILL YOU?? HOW WOULD YOU PUT ON THE MAID OUTFIT IF I KILLED YOU?" The white character replies, "I'VE DIED BEFORE, AND... WAIT, THE WHAT?!" The masked character says "ON SECOND THOUGHT, IT MIGHT BE EASIER THAT WAY. GOOD CALL!"

big [fire] balls

An image shows a little girl running away from an orangutan on a bike, labeled 'YouTube ads slowly becoming 20 second unskippable ads' and 'YouTube users'.

trixiedixie🥰

A man with a mischievous smile is leaning forward with his head resting on his hand looking directly at the viewer. Text above and below his image reads "OH, SO YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE MEMES COME FROM? THAT SHOULD ONLY TAKE A FEW SECONDS..."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a Google search page for "sigma". The results are encircled and connected by lines to multiple images of Patrick Bateman.

Heroin Monkey

A gray alien with big eyes and an open mouth is pressing his hands against a glass surface. The text reads: "Aliens surrendering after seeing all their ships and weapons go missing not even 2 seconds into the invasion (they landed in Romania)."

Adolf kitler

The image contains the text "YOU HAVE JUST BEEN CAT. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO CAT SOMEONE ELSE." above a blurry picture of a cat's face.

timmyy

A screenshot of several usernames and comments. The first comment says, "yummmyy." The second comment says, "deliciouss." The third comment says, "yeah cook the pedos." The fourth comment says, "cuck the pedos >:3."

ur mommy

alex

The image shows a woman in three different frames. The first frame shows her with a tear on her face, the second frame shows her looking up and touching her eye, and the third frame shows her smiling. The text above the images reads: "When he cute, loyal, texts back in 2 seconds, likes the same music as u, and puts up with ur mood swings and attitude."

sonicjokesmemesandposts

if i had 8 good women what does that mean

A screenshot of a text explaining a calculation. The text states that, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and according to Lil Wayne, bitches are cheap. The text calculates that, therefore, one good girl is worth $8.33. It refers to this as a 'basic equation substitution method' and 'could be a SAT question'

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

Evil Duck Lords Of America

The image shows a white duck. The text above says '11PM: Just one more youtube video then I'll go to sleep' and below '3AM:' and a screenshot of a youtube video that is titled '2.8 Seconds of a perfect duck'

Heroin Monkey

A Google search result showing that the NATO reporting name for the MiG-15 is "Fagot". The text also says that the Soviets provided the MiG-15 to communist satellite nations, including North Korea.

Heroin Monkey

The top part of the image shows a digital painting with Gandalf on the back of a giant eagle. In the background, there is a dark, imposing castle. Above the castle, there is dark smoke billowing out of it. The bottom part of the image shows two men, with one of them telling the other: "Sir, a second eagle has hit the towers."

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