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Shitpost master-general

A white car, possibly a utility vehicle, is parked on a paved surface. Its hood is painted with the Israeli flag design, featuring blue stripes and a blue Star of David on a white background. Text overlayed on the image reads, "NOT ONLY DOES IT STOP ON A DIME, IT GOES BACK TO PICK IT UP." In the background, a person on a bicycle is visible. The car has an Israeli license plate "33-278-57".

A printout of a scene from the movie Inside Out, showing several characters sitting at desks in a classroom. Sadness is in the front, looking forlorn. The text on the paper reads: "You may pick any character in the picture and write a story in first person point of view. Be sure to use details and dialogue in your story."

Evil Duck Lords Of America

A cartoon drawing of a group of yellow ducklings in a circle on green grass with a white duck in the middle. A speech bubble from the white duck says "Duck, duck, duck, duck..." A thought bubble from one of the yellow ducks says "He's gonna pick me. I know he's gonna pick me... They always pick me..."

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Me after picking up anything remotely heavy

A white cartoon rabbit is holding a pink dumbbell with an effortful expression. The weight says 4 LB.

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The sender asks if Alex was picked up from the vet. The response is yes, with a picture of a dog in a strip club. The sender then asks why their dog is in a strip club and the other person replies, "Because he's a good boy."

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message is from "Roger from doordash" who asks to pick a number between 1 and 10. The recipient replies with "4". Roger responds "Wrong, no food for u". The recipient then asks "What", "Why", and "Roger please".

choose one

Six furry characters are displayed with the text "Pick one to protect you and the rest will try to kill you."

im picking meowscrada what about the rest of you

The image shows a meme where the viewer is asked to choose a character to protect them from the others, who will try to kill them. The characters are Loona from "Helluva Boss", Meowscarada from "Pokemon", Roxanne Wolf from "Five Nights at Freddy's", a dark latex creature from "Changed", the lamb from "Cult of the Lamb", and a white furry creature.

A multiple choice question about food that grows on trees. The options include pizza, carrots, apples, oranges, coconuts and cake. Pizza, carrots and cake are marked as correct choices.

The text on the image says: "The dude I pay to stop by once a week to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't have pets."

Shep

Two men hold a sign at the airport. The sign reads, "Welcome Home Sean! Congrats on your PAROLE! Remember, you can't be within 100 yards of that sheep farm!" There are two images of a sheep's rear end with a no symbol over them.

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

A black and white image shows a laptop displaying a question: "Do you recognize the contents of the folder?" with buttons for "YES" and "NO" below. Next to the laptop is an open folder with a creepy troll face drawing inside.

The image is a four-panel comic featuring the trollface character. In the top left, the trollface is lifting weights with the text "A human can lift more than their weight". The top right panel shows the trollface sitting with the text "1) pick yourself up". In the bottom left panel, the trollface is flying over a city with the text "2) fly". The bottom right panel shows a dark night sky with a trollface in it.

A black and white image shows a laptop on a desk with an open folder next to it. The laptop displays the question, "Do you recognize the contents of the folder?" with two buttons below labeled "YES" and "NO". The open folder displays a creepy troll face.

A text message exchange shows a request to buy a card because a coworker's husband was deported. The image below the message shows a greeting card that says "Adios!" with an image of a chihuahua wearing a sombrero. The second text message below the card says "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

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