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Self-improvement

79 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A cartoon drawing depicts a line of scruffy, unkempt men, some smoking, walking towards a large, open book. The book's cover features Jordan B. Peterson with the title 'Wash Your Penis'. From the other side of the open book, well-dressed men in suits, carrying briefcases, are emerging, appearing transformed and successful. The text at the top reads, 'A good book can change your life.'

Satire

387 views · Cosmo idk · 4 months ago

A satirical news article screenshot. The main image shows Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro being escorted by two soldiers in tactical gear; one soldier has a DEA patch visible. The headline reads 'Classic: Trump Has Delta Force Operators Tell Maduro "You're Fired"' with the date Jan 3, 2026. The subtext mentions Trump ordering the capture and the use of his signature catchphrase.

Police

199 views · Big Jim · 5 months ago

They had to teach him a lesson

A photo shows three police officers (two men and one woman) standing with a young boy on a sidewalk in a residential area. The boy is holding a pizza box. The text beneath the image describes a scenario where a 15-year-old misused 911 to order pizza. The police initially delivered the pizza to teach him a lesson, followed by the dark punchline: "Then shot him 20 times."

9/11 jokes

250 views · Oscar Lamb · 8 months ago

A black and white image of the New York City skyline, prominently featuring the Twin Towers. Overlaid text asks, "Why were the Twin Towers mad on 9/11? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza but instead, they got plane."

Shirt

27 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A two-panel comic strip. The top panel shows two men talking. The man on the left, bald and wearing an orange shirt, looks shocked and asks the man on the right, wearing a white t-shirt, 'Dude, How are you STILL wearing that shirt?!' The bottom panel is a close-up of the white t-shirt. The shirt has '9/11?' printed at the top left. To the right are illustrations of the Twin Towers with blood running down them. To the left is an illustration of Garfield the cat drawn like an airplane flying towards the towers. Below Garfield, the text reads: 'Yeah! I'll take 911 orders of Lasagna!'

Exam

114 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A handwritten note on lined paper shows the biological classification ranks: Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, written below a sentence with arrows pointing up from each rank to a corresponding word. The sentence reads: Dear Kevin, Please Come Over For Gay Sex. Above the note, text from a tweet says 'Gonna ace this exam'.

Log

39 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A beaver sitting in a car at a drive-through orders a "log". The text on the image says "lemme get uhhhhh log".

Milk

24 views · DAP ME UP · 1 year ago

In a scene from "Family Guy," Peter Griffin is milking a tentacled Reaper Leviathan into a silver bucket, while Lois Griffin looks on with concern. The text says: "Me acquiring Reaper Leviathan milk in order to fabricate delicious Reaper cheese."

Lion

32 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up of a lion's face with text that says "The lion orders DoorDash then contacts support and claims it never arrived."

Man

33 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post that reads: "I agree unironically. If a 'man' is so light I can overhead press him for a set, then me filling his asshole with my seed isn't actually gay. I'm just enforcing the natural order by asserting my dominance over him. I've fucked like 6 or 7 guys since highschool and I don't consider myself gay at all."

Cat

18 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A close-up of a brown tabby cat with a slightly annoyed expression, accompanied by the text "can i get uhhhhhh..."

Justice for waluigi

19 views · Apollo · 1 year ago

A screen capture of a search engine query showing a search for 'justice for w' with auto-completed options including 'justice for waluigi' and 'justice for women'. Above the search bar is the text "Glad to see we have our priorities in order".

Definition

4 views · Lil’ bro · 1 year ago

The image shows a dictionary entry for the word "wheedle" with its pronunciation and definition. The definition reads: "use flattery or coaxing in order to persuade someone to do something or give one something". The entry also notes that it is from the "New Oxford American Dictionary".

Man

114 views · Apollo · 1 year ago

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Edge

17 views · Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A cute cat is wearing a green Starbucks apron. The cat looks into the camera. The text says "thank you for your order, I'll push it off the edge of the counter when it's ready."

Tongue

1 view · Unimportant Intelligence · 1 year ago

heh

The image has a black background and white text that reads, "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T BREATHE FAST AND STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT THE SAME TIME?" Below that is "GOOD BOY! NOW, SIT AND ROLL!"

Child

20 views · Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A close-up of a person with a red face and an intense stare, superimposed with the text: "Vietnamese children after getting an order of 500 'Stop child labor' t-shirts."

Job

35 views · Nintendo Fan · 1 year ago

Four people are holding up signs that should say "Will you marry me?" but are out of order. The text above the image says "They had one job." A user commented below the image, "They are not asking."

Education

9 views · Nintendo Fan · 1 year ago

The image shows a progression of Spongebob Squarepants through different stages of education and finally work. In elementary school, Spongebob looks innocent next to simple math equations. In middle school, he's confused next to a quadratic equation. In high school, he looks muscular next to a complex integral. In college, he appears even more powerful next to another integral. Finally, in a job, he looks bored next to a list of office supplies and their costs.

Book

16 views · Swf · 1 year ago

A black and white picture shows a person with a tear running down their face. Above, there is the text: "When you order a book called 'How to scam people' and it still hasn't arrived after 3 months:"

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