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Capybara

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

An image featuring a photo of a capybara at the top and a series of Instagram comments below. The comments mock the animal's generic appearance, comparing it to a default video game character, common loot, or a tutorial enemy. Text includes: "Imagine being a random fucking thing", "bro is an enemy in the tutorial", "bro is the default animal", "Bro is built like common loot", "Just some bullshit with fur", "Ts is a damn login reward", "His only job is existing and that's enough", and "Went to the pet store and just said 'one animal please'".

Choice

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Parent

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from @drink2beers that says: "when my parents keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I GENUINELY have to explain to them who Benjamin Netanyahu is". Below the text is a picture of actor Jonah Hill wearing a suit, looking exhausted with his eyes closed, rubbing the bridge of his nose/eye area in frustration.

Comment

United Kingdom UK · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a comment section where a user named .DINOSOURS LOVER. asks "guys im color blind what color she added?". A user named Wander replies "She's adding blue :D". After .DINOSOURS LOVER. thanks them, a third user named Pistachio asks "How did you read if ur blind 🤨", confusing color blindness with being totally blind.

City

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A chaotic and vibrant hyper-edited collage styled like an epic movie poster. At the top, the title "CITY BOII" is written in glowing, fiery letters. The scene is filled with a variety of figures including the Hulk, Batman, Deadpool, and anime characters, all surrounded by intense blue lightning and orange flames. In the center is a large, distorted cartoon face with glowing blue eyes and an open mouth. There are also images of a bearded streamer and a yelling bald man. Large laughing and shocked emojis are at the bottom center. The text "THAT'S WHY HE'S THE GOAT" and "100% ACCURACY" are scattered around. The name "HEMMY BOI" appears at the very bottom.

Taco Bell

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

An AI-generated image of a wolf dressed in a pinstripe suit, holding a cigar in its mouth and a glass of whiskey in a dimly lit bar. The text on the image says: "Feed a man Tacobell, he farts for a day Teach a man Tacobell, he farts for a lifetime".

Sequence

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A February calendar grid titled "Fibonacci Fap February". Instead of standard dates, the large numbers in each cell follow the Fibonacci sequence (where each number is the sum of the two preceding ones), starting with 1 on February 1st and ending with 317,811 on February 28th.

Recognition

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A screenshot of a Tumblr thread. The top post by 'gen-z-culture-is' shows a close-up of the movie version of Sonic the Hedgehog with text below it stating, "According To A Survey, Gen Z Is More Likely To Recognise Sonic The Hedgehog Than Shakespeare". A reply by 'justlgbtthings' says, "well yeah how is shakespeare gonna recognize a blue hedgehog when he's dead".

Hamster

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A meme showing the characters Gumball and Richard Watterson from 'The Amazing World of Gumball'. Gumball is in the bottom left, looking upwards with a terrified expression. Richard is on the right, looking extremely bloated and crying, with thick white liquid dripping down his face. The caption at the top reads: "When you done with the group hamster but now the little mf ain't moving".

Carrot

Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A cartoon illustration showing the blue Sesame Street monster, Grover, standing in a room. He is triumphantly placing a carrot onto a stone pedestal labeled "Carrot." A sign on the wall in the background reads "The Carrot Room." Grover has a speech bubble saying, "Aha! This is where it belongs."

Microsoft

Anonymous · 3 months ago

Bill Gates

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

Governor

Cosmo idk · 4 months ago

A satirical news article screenshot featuring Governor Tim Walz. He is photoshopped to look like a groundhog emerging from a hole in a snowbank in front of the gated Governor's Mansion. The headline says 'Tim Walz Emerges From Den To Declare 6 More Weeks Of Rioting And Fraud'. The date is Feb 2, 2026.

Depression

Heroin Monkey · 4 months ago

A tweet screenshot with text reading "how it feels to fight your depression by listening to your favourite song". The attached image is a surreal painting of a hippo standing in a pond. A raccoon on the hippo's back is lighting its flatulence with a sparkler, resulting in a large plume of fire. A capybara is using the fire to bake pastries on a wooden peel. In the background, upright-standing cows are being milked by other small animals, with the milk spraying towards the fire.

Picture

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post. The post features an anime girl with cat ears (Nekomimi) wearing a dark cloak. Large, crude red scribbles, including a circle and arrows, cover the right side of the image. The text claims the picture is genuinely scary and uncanny, suggesting it has the same unsettling effect as the creepypasta image smile.jpg.

Walter White

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A four-panel image using characters from the TV show *Breaking Bad* and the anime *Bleach*. In the top left, Badger Mayhew offers, "Let me headpat you". In the top right, Walter White angrily rejects him, saying, "Stfu libtard I'm fine on my own..". In the bottom left, the anime character Yoruichi Shihoin, in a cat-eared form, commands, "Meow for me while I headpat you". In the bottom right, Walter White smiles intensely and shouts, "YES YORUICHI glory to catgirlwawa!".

Confession

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Apology

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a YouTube comment thread. The user Ricardo Pineda asks how to make the audio his ringtone. The user Joaquin Amaya replies with an insult: "Dumb nigga." Ricardo Pineda then retaliates by posting geographic coordinates: "@Joaquin Amaya 38.8977° N, 77.0365° W this you??" Joaquin Amaya immediately apologizes: "@Ricardo Pineda I'm sorry."

Connection

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

Two photographs, mugshots of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, are pinned to a corkboard. A black string connects the pin near the top of Donald Trump's head to the pin near the top of Jeffrey Epstein's head, mimicking a conspiracy investigation board.

Focus

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

An image of basketball star LeBron James looking extremely focused and intense, surrounded by digital flames and sparks. He is holding a basketball. Overlaid text says: "POV: when the choir hit a high note and the glass dildo breaks in my a$$ so I gotta lock in and pretend like nothing happened".

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