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Celebrity

Swf · 1 year ago

The image is a grid of nine photos. Each photo shows a person who is made to look like a celebrity and has a name similar to that of the celebrity. The top row features "Pů Ting," resembling Vladimir Putin, "Yi Long Musk," resembling Elon Musk, and "Di Nhi Rho," resembling Robert De Niro. The second row showcases "Zhorxe Bus," resembling George Bush, "Wok," resembling Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and "Yuan-i Diệph," resembling Johnny Depp. The bottom row presents "Yin Di Zhêl," resembling Vin Diesel, "Bhra Di Pitth," resembling Brad Pitt, and "Zhong Xina," resembling John Cena.

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Breakup

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

Dude

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation with a dark background. In the first message, a sender states, "Girl, you're really pretty!" The recipient replies, "Thanks, but I'm a dude." The sender then says, "Oh, you look like a girl. You trans?" The recipient responds, "No, I just have long hair." The sender replies with insults. There are emojis included.

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Sleep

Unimportant Intelligence · 2 years ago

It works, my brother has never slept better

A man is lying in bed with a pillow under his head. Text overlay: "DID YOU KNOW? If you hold your breath for a long time you can sleep forever."

Speed

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 2 years ago

real

A man with a wide, slightly maniacal smile is in the bottom part of the image. Above him in white letters it says: "Driving at 200 mph in a school zone:".

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Sleep

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows a cartoon character, Arthur, with dark circles under his eyes, looking very tired. The text above the image reads: "friend: how long did you sleep for? me: 8 friend: hours? me: minutes".

Holiday

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comic panel with two characters. On the left side, a 'soyjak' character initially says, "Easter was actually originally a pagan holiday!" then in the second row, he is saying, "BUT WE ...", and in the third he is crying saying, "THAT'S NOT...". On the right side, a man in a priest garb is saying, "Keep complaining and we'll take Toyotathon and make it a Christian holiday too." Then in the second row, he says "You just lost Shark Week", and in the third, "SHARK WEEK IS A WEEK LONG CHRISTIAN FESTIVAL NOW."

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Country

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man leans over to grab a bag on the ground next to a woman who is sitting at a table using her phone. Text on the image says, "Country road" near the man and, "me home" near the bag.

Album

RapBoat · 2 years ago

The image shows a text about Chance the Rapper releasing an album after three years. He says he is proud, but the text continues with the reaction of the entire rap community who say "Hahaha. This sucks man." Below the text there is a picture of a man looking up with the caption "Hahaha. This sucks man."

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Butt

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A close-up of a green buttock with two bones sticking out of it. The text on top reads, "You ever sit for so long that your butt feels like this."

Prank

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A hand holds a clear, translucent polymer ball over a body of water, demonstrating its near-invisibility when submerged. Below the image, a text conversation on Tumblr describes a prank idea: first, putting invisible polymer balls in a bath to scare someone, and second, escalating the idea significantly to hiding large, shaped figures in every swimming pool in America.

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Insult

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a WhatsApp chat. The top message displays an image of a sculpture depicting a hairless, muscular dog-like creature lying down with smaller, human-like baby creatures. The chat messages below discuss the image. The messages read: 'Is that a trans person,' followed by a response identifying it as a 'Dog human Hybrid.' Subsequent messages include 'Das a cow,' 'No lee,' 'It's not your mother,' and 'Your mummy left a long time ago.'

Titanic

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

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Longing

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Rickroll

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A Valentine's Day card featuring a picture of Rick Astley with the text: "i'll keep u rolling all night long. to: from:".

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Dildo

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Pig

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a babirusa on the left and a babirusa skull on the right. Below the images is the text: "THE BABIRUSA IS A WILD PIG WHOSE TUSKS CAN GROW SO LONG THEY CURVE BACKWARDS ULTIMATELY IMPALING THEIR SKULLS AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THEM UNLIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHO WAS KILLED ON PURPOSE". The text @yup.that.exists is in the upper right of the picture.

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Father

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

Life

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

Guys only want two things in life

A split image. On the left, an anime-style couple is hugging with the text: "Shh... There, there it's alright. There's no need to worry. You don't need to hold your tears back anymore. I love you." On the right, a cat is shown with the text: 你完成了我的命運世界在我裡面展開你完成了我的命運光環走你重按我的命運倒帶我們可以你補充我的位置你補充我的位置來救我

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Surgery

Wade · 2 years ago

The image shows text that reads "Doctor: It was a long and hard surgery, but we reattached your torso. *credit card declines* Doctor:" above a picture of a yellow figure holding a red figure. The red figure is being held with their head down.

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