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Toddler

♢ Shy Dragon ♢ · 2 years ago
  • Two cartoon dogs are lying in bed. The dog on the left looks tired. The dog on the right is in a restless pose. Text above them reads "Sleeping with your toddler is like sharing your bed with a drunk octopus looking for its car keys." The source @blueydudes is printed at the bottom of the image.
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  • Surrender

    Toast ツ · 2 years ago
  • The image shows a split-screen of two scenes. The top scene is from a video game, showing a young character with a slightly fearful expression in dialogue. The text box reads: "[Charisma 7] <Mock Surrender> Woah, no way I'm fighting with the mighty Red-Brick. [Offer Chems] You know what will help you box better? Psycho, would you like some? I'm just passing through." The text 'Mini Boomer' is visible at the top right. The bottom scene shows a character in a gas mask and helmet, holding a weapon.
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  • Budget

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A black and white portrait of actor Willem Dafoe looking intense and slightly menacing. White text overlaid on the bottom reads: 'movie nerds when you like interstellar instead of ковер плесень made in 1902 with a budget of $12.39:'.
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  • Boot

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A map of Italy is shown with a very long boot photoshopped onto the peninsula. The text reads: "why tf y'all say Italy looks like a boot it'd be so long" with a crying-laughing emoji.
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  • Husband

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A screenshot of a post that asks, "How do I stop my husband from going "goblin mode" during sex?? My husband says "goblin mode activated" when we start to have sex, growls, and acts like a caveman, and then says "goblin mode off" when we stop, and then pretends to not know what I'm talking about when I ask him about it."
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  • Man

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A screenshot of a video platform resembling YouTube, featuring a video titled "Twink Starts Liking Men After Receiving Heart Transplant From Gay Man". The video is from "DisruptiveFilms" and includes tags like "threesome", "deepthroat", "pounding", "twink", "bareback", "anal", and "tattoos", along with the name "Jared Kent". The video thumbnail shows two shirtless men. Below the video, a comment from user "bkusa" reads: "Nice refreshing story line, actors didn't look like porn stars which was a plus but you made a huge mistake. coming from someone who has had open heart surgery the young man who received the organ shows no incision for the rib cage to be cut down the sternum then spread open so the transplant could happen. Serious make up is missing on this and is the only thing I can think of that would stop a 5 star rating in my opinion."
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  • Michigan

    Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago
  • A meme showing a map of Michigan. Text at the top reads: 'Bro why tf they say Michigan looks like a 'mitten' ?? the thumb would have to be huge'. A Photoshopped hand is placed over the map, with a large, disproportionate thumb covering Michigan's Upper Peninsula and the rest of the hand covering the Lower Peninsula, ironically illustrating the point about the thumb's size.
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  • Ocean

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • A screenshot of a message showing a dolphin-like head and the text: Me: "cums in the ocean." 20 years later in front of my door.  Below this message is another message saying: "I would like you to stop messaging me".
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  • Evolution

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • The image shows four panels. The first panel shows an ape looking up with the text, "Evolution, can u give me brains to understand world?". The second panel shows a drawing of the evolution of various animals and the text "To understand world?". The third panel shows the same ape looking excited with the text "yeeeeeeeees". The fourth panel shows a silhouetted figure sitting with their head in their hands with the text "actually develops crippling depression like a fcking loser". The final panel shows the same silhouetted figure standing with a noose around its neck with the text "suicide time.".
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  • Author

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • The meme shows three different people. The first panel shows J.K. Rowling, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The second panel shows George R.R. Martin, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The third panel shows J.R.R. Tolkien, with the text "Creates a language, feels like it needs a story and writes a book".
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  • New York

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • A weather map showing a storm system resembling a phallic shape pointing toward the Carolinas. Text on the image includes “Looks like the Carolinas are going to get pounded....” along with labeled locations: “New York”, “Washington”, “Raleigh”, and “cksonville”.
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  • Comparison

    Mafuyu Asahina · 2 years ago
  • NAAAAA

    The image shows a side-by-side comparison of rapper 6ix9ine, with his colorful hair and teeth, and a troll character from the movie Trolls, also with colorful hair, suggesting they look similar. The text says, "I knew 6ix9ine looked familiar. Bitch, don't ever disrespect Lady Glitter Sparkles like this again."
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  • Spoon

    Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago
  • I be ready like come on mfs

    A gray cat stands holding a book and a cross. Text says: "After watching horror movie and you hear spoon fall down in the kitchen. Satan is that you?!"
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  • Man

    Anonymous · 2 years ago
  • A dialogue between a son and his dad where the son asks what a man is. The dad responds, "A man takes care of his family". The son says he wants to be a man like his mom. The last line is just "DAD:" and below that is a picture of an older man crying.
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  • Dentist

    Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago
  • Like mf how tf am I supposed to talk when my mouth is wide tf open

    The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants. Patrick Star is holding Spongebob's mouth open, while Spongebob looks distressed. The text on top of the image reads "Nobody: The dentist: So how's life going".
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  • Butt

    shaylie lol · 2 years ago
  • A close-up of a green buttock with two bones sticking out of it. The text on top reads, "You ever sit for so long that your butt feels like this."
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  • Bussy

    Jazzy💕 · 2 years ago
  • COSMO um???

    A screenshot of a text conversation. The first message reads, "well, i like pussy". The second message reads, "but i also love blach's bussy."
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  • Coffee

    Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago
  • A screenshot of two Instagram posts. The first post, from user fatgirlhedonist, says "Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire." The second post, from user brianmstewart, is pinned and replies "I have studied the habits of millionaires. While it is a good step to save money by making coffee at home, have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?"
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  • Chair

    shaylie lol · 2 years ago
  • A person's face is shown, they appear to have just woken up and are looking straight at the camera, the text says "me getting up in the middle of the night to stare at my chair with clothes on it because it looks like a person".
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  • Capybara

    Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago
  • An image featuring a photo of a capybara at the top and a series of Instagram comments below. The comments mock the animal's generic appearance, comparing it to a default video game character, common loot, or a tutorial enemy. Text includes: "Imagine being a random fucking thing", "bro is an enemy in the tutorial", "bro is the default animal", "Bro is built like common loot", "Just some bullshit with fur", "Ts is a damn login reward", "His only job is existing and that's enough", and "Went to the pet store and just said 'one animal please'".
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