Worst Jokes Ever

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♢ Shy Dragon ♢

Two cartoon dogs are lying in bed. The dog on the left looks tired. The dog on the right is in a restless pose. Text above them reads "Sleeping with your toddler is like sharing your bed with a drunk octopus looking for its car keys." The source @blueydudes is printed at the bottom of the image.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a Facebook conversation where a person says 'Technically he is thinking about other womans.' Another person replies 'womans'. Then a third person comments 'Womans because when you have multiple objects you add an S at the end'. Below that is an image of a video game with the words 'SPEECH 100+' and 'INTELLIGENCE LEVEL 1 +110'.

Heroin Monkey

The image contains four screenshots of tweets. The first by Beans After Dark says "british people be like im bri ish". The second by ryan says "british ppl wake up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidneys gone n be like 'right. what's all this then?'". The third by quinn says "British people could watch their family be murdered and be like 'hmmm i dont quite fancy that'". The fourth by Caleb says "British people be like 'litchrally'"

Heroin Monkey

A group of sperm cells with speech bubbles. One sperm says, "I can't wait to be a cinephile like dad." Another one says, "Bro, we are in a Dune 2 popcorn bucket."

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon image shows Katy Perry, wearing a wedding veil and green dress, and Elmo, a red muppet, standing in front of a cartoon building. The text above reads: "Katy: 'Men must learn to like a woman for her personality, not her body.' Elmo: 'Would you-' Katy: 'No, you're too short.'"

ɮǟʀօռ ɦɛʟʍʊȶ zємσ

A Shiba Inu dog is holding a white rag up with a slightly mischievous smile on its face. The text above says, "EXCUSE ME" and the text below says, "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

shaylie lol

A person's face is shown, they appear to have just woken up and are looking straight at the camera, the text says "me getting up in the middle of the night to stare at my chair with clothes on it because it looks like a person".

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Evil Duck Lords Of America

Follow to join me or if you like ducks

The image shows a duck swimming in water. The text "EVIL DUCK" is above the duck. The text "O NOOOOOOOOO!" is below the duck.

Heroin Monkey

A statue with an exaggerated expression of shock and surprise. The text says, "When the cops find drugs and you have to act like you don't know how they got up your ass."

Anonymous

stop being horny. find jesus
@stopthehorny
I am CRYING because people have
sex. Please stop
6:02 PM - 4/4/21 Twitter for iPhone
737 Retweets 49 Quote Tweets 2,557 Likes
demondayhatesyout.00

Anonymous

Mc Donald's>
@gyrhoes
600
LGBT pissing me the fuck off tonight
18:39 08/03/2021 Twitter for iPhone
•
3,239 Retweets 346 Quote Tweets 24.4K Likes
27
↑

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

DADDY sus aka the king

my mexican mom be like

The image shows two panels. The left panel displays a dinosaur, representing a mom telling everyone to get ready for church. The right panel shows Barney the dinosaur, representing mom once at church.

Anonymous

SO I WAS LIKE, "YO ABRAHAM, YOU
SHOULD SACRIFICE YOUR SON."
THEN I WAS LIKE, "WOAH, I WAS JUST
KIDDING, BRO"

✨Jassy✨

Me all of the time

A statue of an angel with its head in its hand. The text reads: "I have a feeling that my guardian angel sometimes looks at me like this."

LoserIsPro

coronavirus

The image shows a still from an animation, with the text "Classes in 2020 be like:" at the top. The animation scene features a green leaf on the left, a blue drop on the right, and a tablet in the middle displaying a blue cartoon character with a wide smile. The scene is set in what appears to be a classroom or house with brown walls and a table.

I'm ¨not¨ drunk

Very interesting

The image shows a psychopathy quiz result. It says "Psychopathy Likely" and the score is 20 out of 24. It says that the quiz was answered consistently with people who score high on measures of psychopathy and psychopathic behavior, which suggests the person likely has psychopathic tendencies.

RapBoat

Chat is this real??

A tweet by Carti Fans with the handle @NeonCarti that says 'Playboi Carti predicted Covid-19'. The tweet includes a screenshot of text that reads 'In 2020 a flu-like disease that began in Wuhan, China (yuh) will cause a worldwide pandemic and shut down all major events for months (slatt) and cause major economic collapse (buh buh buh)'. Below it says 'PLAYBOI CARTI, "FOREIGN" GENIUS'. The picture features Playboi Carti with a peace sign.

united kingdom

A screenshot of a Twitter conversation. Thiccboy says, "I'm very sad." MoonPie replies, "Would you like an interesting fact to cheer you up?" Thiccboy says, "Yes." MoonPie says, "Me too do you know any?"

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