Worst Jokes Ever

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Light Memes

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

shaylie lol

A person covered in white shaving cream or soap stares forward in front of a window. The caption reads "when you in the shower and the lights flicker".

$omedipsh!t2011

Light Yagami is being a bit rasict

A two-panel image. The left panel shows Light Yagami with an intense look. The right panel shows Ryuk with a surprised expression. The text in between reads: "AFRICA!" "Um, Light, that's not how it works." "MEXICO!"

rapboat

The image shows the text "Drake fans be like 'He still won, just read this'" above a collage of images, including stacks of text, alchemical symbols, and a bottle of Natural Light beer.

Anonymous

82%

The image shows a scene from Teletubbies. There are four Teletubbies, Tinky Winky (purple), Dipsy (green), Laa-Laa (yellow), and Po (red), standing in a field. Dipsy is glowing with a light. The text “Look!” appears over the center of the image.

Heroin Monkey

A painting of Jesus with his arms outstretched. In the middle of the picture there are two drawings of characters, one of Satan as Soyjak and one of Jesus as Chad. The text reads, "As you can see, Satan, I portrayed you as Soyjak and me as Chad. You and your legions have been defeated once again. L+cope+seethe+touch light."

Heroin Monkey

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan post with green text on a black background. It depicts a dystopian scenario in a future where Hillary Clinton has become a supreme ruler and implemented a series of drastic measures.

MAHMOOD • iNKSTECHSHUB JOKES

Lickin' Good :)

A ray of light shines on a waterfall in a cave surrounded by trees. The text "Lickin' Good :)" is overlaid on the image.

Heroin Monkey

@smilingnodding
lyft driver is going double the speed
limit has a check engine light on and is
blasting slipknot. I immediatly took the wheel,
crashed the car and burned it down along with the Slipknot CD
#deathtoallposers
3:19 AM 2022-03-21 Twitter for iPhone
•

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a picture of Luce Irigaray at the top. Below, there is an excerpt from an article discussing her views on physics and sex. At the bottom there is a picture of Fry from Futurama with the caption: "I HAVE TRANSCENDED ABOVE AND BEYOND THE EMOTION OF ANGER".

TaylorSwiftBoat

The image shows a screen capture of a social media post. At the top, a person is shown with their hair covering their eyes. Below it says "Me vs" in white letters. Underneath the person there are comments from other users. One user commented "Darkest Ken Carson fan", and the original poster replied: "When the lights are off, I'm da dxrkest vxmp of dem all twxn."

blach66

The image shows four images arranged in a grid with a black background. The text at the top of each column reads: 'The Him,' 'My Shit,' 'Super Smexy Spongebob,' and 'Light Switches.' Below these are, respectively, a yellow head with pecs, a Pou game image, a Spongebob image, and a light switch. At the bottom, it reads 'Heaviest Objects In The Universe'

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