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Choice

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Carrot

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A cartoon illustration showing the blue Sesame Street monster, Grover, standing in a room. He is triumphantly placing a carrot onto a stone pedestal labeled "Carrot." A sign on the wall in the background reads "The Carrot Room." Grover has a speech bubble saying, "Aha! This is where it belongs."

Depression

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A tweet screenshot with text reading "how it feels to fight your depression by listening to your favourite song". The attached image is a surreal painting of a hippo standing in a pond. A raccoon on the hippo's back is lighting its flatulence with a sparkler, resulting in a large plume of fire. A capybara is using the fire to bake pastries on a wooden peel. In the background, upright-standing cows are being milked by other small animals, with the milk spraying towards the fire.

Picture

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post. The post features an anime girl with cat ears (Nekomimi) wearing a dark cloak. Large, crude red scribbles, including a circle and arrows, cover the right side of the image. The text claims the picture is genuinely scary and uncanny, suggesting it has the same unsettling effect as the creepypasta image smile.jpg.

Confession

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Tail

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post from the subreddit r/playboicarti. The post is titled "I think everyone wishes humans had tails". The body of the post describes a hypothetical scenario at Walmart where a mom compliments someone's hair. The author suggests that if humans had tails, they would wag involuntarily, revealing excitement and causing embarrassment when the 'mom' notices.

9/11

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

Anatomy

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A three-panel comic strip. In the top panel, Mickey Mouse opens a bathroom door where Donald Duck is behind a shower curtain, saying, "Don't get in, Mickey! I'm naked!!". In the bottom-left panel, Mickey says, "What difference does it make?, you never wear pants". In the bottom-right panel, Donald steps out of the bathtub, revealing he has human-like breasts and a small penis, and simply says, "Right".

Character

Anonymous · 8 months ago

real

A five-row alignment chart categorizing various cartoon characters based on their relationship with the word "fuck". The rows are: "regularly says fuck" (showing 3 characters), "has sworn off saying fuck, but said it at some point" (showing 4 characters), "has not said fuck before, but can if so desired" (showing 5 characters), "has not said fuck before, and refuses to say it" (showing 5 characters), and "legally cannot say fuck" (showing 3 characters). The characters are colorful, stylized figures resembling food, objects, or creatures.

Cosmo

Anonymous · 8 months ago

headcanon

A digital drawing showing two anthropomorphic snack-themed characters. On the left, a red character with green hair looks on in terror, hands to its face. On the right, a character named Cosmo, designed after a Cosmic Brownie, has been 'unrolled' into a flat, rectangular sheet with a face and tiny limbs. Text at the top reads 'headcanon: it's possible to unroll cosmo (not recommended)'.

Reminder

Siri_the_Robot · 8 months ago

Do it

A meme consisting of text and a screenshot of a phone notification. The top text reads: "Me: Siri remind me to dye my hair tomorrow please. Siri next morning:". Below this is a screenshot of an iPhone notification from the Reminders app, dated 12:00 PM and labeled "now". The reminder text is: "Die today".

Semen

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of two 4chan posts. The top post features a greentext story and a picture of the anime character Cirno. The text claims the author used their own semen as a skincare product overnight and it cured their acne. The bottom post features a picture of Konata Izumi and a reply stating the user is going to try it, hoping it isn't a prank.

Wife

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A meme with text at the top: "Me When my wife asks me where our daughters heart surgery money went (the evil blackjack dealer has it)". Below the text is a close-up photo of a brown dog looking directly at the camera with a wide-eyed, shocked, or guilty expression.

Rabbit

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

Buy silver rn trust please I’m begging you buy silver ride it to the moon I swear

A fluffy rabbit sits in a small circular hole in the dirt. White text and arrows point to the rabbit as being "from the moon??" and the hole as an "impact crater".

Cat

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post featuring an image of an orange cat looking directly at the camera with a neutral expression. The text above the image states "this picture genuinely scares (...)". The text below the image describes the cat as uncanny and off-putting, suggesting it might be a person and comparing it to the smile.jpg creepypasta.

YouTube Video

Gummy gummy gummy bear · 9 months ago

💀

A meme showing a text dialog where a mother says 'you can watch one more YouTube video before bed.' Underneath is a screenshot of a YouTube video featuring Woody from Toy Story. The title of the video is an absurdly long, nested list of conditions involving Ice Age, Toy Story, YouTube, The Simpsons, Bee Movie, and SpongeBob. The progress bar shows a timestamp composed of an impossible, extremely long string of numbers.

Cat

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A high-contrast, deep red and orange filtered image of a cat looking directly at the camera with an intense expression. Overlaid text reads: "I remember saying 'no we can't' to the Bob the Builder That's where the darkness in me began. The malice, the hatred. It was all from that moment."

Deodorant

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A meme featuring actor Rami Malek, as the character Elliot Alderson from Mr. Robot, wearing a black hoodie and looking off to the side with a slight, confident smirk. The text above reads: "When someone says it stinks but you genuinely got a crisp 30 mins left on tha 72 hour deodorant so you know it ain't you".

Surveillance

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A man in a dark suit stands with his back to the viewer, observing a giant, segmented screen displaying a huge, close-up image of another man's face, who looks contemplative or concerned. The scene is reminiscent of high-level surveillance. The text overlay reads: "How it feels to secretly put a camera in bro's room so you lowk only text him when he's gooning."

Jazz

Shitpost master-general · 9 months ago

A screenshot of a Reddit comment thread. The first user, Deathcu..., writes a chaotic, rambling paragraph about Charlie Parker only playing scales, interspersed with repetitive exclamations about loving cigarettes, heroin, and tobacco. The second user, BionicTorqueWrench, replies with a simple correction: "Bro, Parker played arpeggios."

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