Worst Jokes Ever

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Happening Memes

rapboat

Text: THEORY: My father leaving me is a Drake diss. Reason 1: My father left without saying a word or giving a reason, a reference to how Drake sneak disses people with no direct confrontation. Reason 2: My father is a big Rihanna fan, we all know what happened between Rihanna and Drake...

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of comments on a social media platform. The first comment praises VR for experiences like boxing, zombie apocalypse, lightsaber fights, and 'porn' (represented by a corn emoji). A reply asks 'Which porn?' The original commenter responds, explaining they accidentally clicked 'for women' thinking it was 'four women' and ended up with a 'boner' (represented by an eggplant emoji) in their virtual face, describing it as the 'Gayest experience' of their life.

mal

The image shows two scenes of the same bathtub. In the first scene, a person is relaxing in the tub, saying, "I am so relaxed." In the second scene, a second person has appeared in the tub, wearing a witch hat, and says, "Surprise!" The first person is clearly shocked and asks, "Why is this happening?"

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

blach66

A black and white portrait of a person with a pig's face and the text "WE NEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT." Below the pig's face, the text "JOHN PORK" is visible.

The Unknown King of Moderation

For you, Wade. where MAKING THIS HAPEN

A distorted, pixelated drawing of a person with a determined expression. The person has spiky black hair, big eyes, and a wide smile with prominent teeth. The person wears a red shirt. Text reads: "For you, Wade. Making this happen."

Cricket Green

What happened

The image shows a side-by-side comparison of two cartoon ducks. The left duck is labeled "HAPPY DUCK" and wears a green shirt and baseball cap along with sunglasses. The right duck is labeled "SMUG DUCK" and wears pixelated sunglasses, has a tear, and is holding a gun, with a pile of money nearby.

Jazzy💕

A woman is crying while holding a telephone receiver to her ear. The text above the image says, "Me calling my best friend when the smallest inconvenient thing happens to me."

rapboat

The image shows a screenshot of YouTube's trending videos. The top five videos are about Drake, Kendrick Lamar and general relativity. The videos titles include: 'THE BOOGEYMAN CAME OUT TO PLAY! | Kendrick Lamar - Euphoria (Drake diss) (REACTION!!!)', 'How Drake Was In The Studio Listening To The Kendrick Diss', 'KENDRICK LAMAR RESPONDS TO DRAKE & J COLE!!! "Euphoria" (REACTION)', 'Something Strange Happens When You Follow Einstein's Math', and 'KENDRICK LAMAR HAS RECLAIMED HIS THRONE FROM DRAKE | KENDRICK LAMAR - EUPHORIA (DRAKE DISS)'.

Pankake

A yellow road sign with a silhouette of a chicken is shown, and beneath it, in a real world scene, stands a black chicken. The text above the image reads, "My dad sent me a picture this morning and said 'it finally happened'".

Anonymous

A raccoon is looking at the camera with the text "Sorry for being annoying. It absolutely will happen again."

Heroin Monkey

A photo of a bed with two pillows with the face of young Sheldon Cooper. In front of it is a picture of young Sheldon raising a finger. The text says: "This is where the magic happens. #bazinga"

big [fire] balls

Two images show a conversation. In the top image, a man asks a priest, "What happens after you die?" In the bottom image, the priest responds, "Lots of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you."

Heroin Monkey

A tweet with text "Worst Headline you'll read today and there's like 10 wars happening" above a tweet by @Dexerto saying "The Hawk Tuah Girl is launching her own podcast under Jake Paul's media company". Below are two side-by-side images of Jake Paul looking surprised and the Hawk Tuah Girl smiling.

SlothyMemes

A four-panel comic featuring two characters: one with a beard, and two with a fairy-like appearance, with pink and green hair. In the first panel, the bearded character wants a "100K loan" for his business, and in the second panel, the fairy character denies the loan. In the third panel, the bearded character requests the loan for a psychology degree, and in the fourth panel, the fairy agrees that's a great idea.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a meme with the text "statisticians be like" at the top, followed by three graphics: a bell curve chart, a probability mass function graph with three curves, and a statistical formula. Underneath the graphics, the text continues with "yeah this may or may not happen idk."

Anonymous

My friend is has the best ideas

A screenshot of a discord conversation. Windy says that hopefully a bad situation wont happen, and the two friends might work it out. Seth replies with 'Eh'. Windy then says if the situation happens too much, to just put the persons parents in a retirement home. Seth replies with 'Lmao'.

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