Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a music playlist titled "I caught you" with songs with suggestive titles in a specific order to create a humorous phrase.

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

A man and a woman are looking at a computer screen. The text reads: "You see babe, this journalist's surname ends with 'berg,' now let's see his 'early life' section just to double check."

Anonymous

Shitpost-master general

Image shows bags of colorful glitter. The text reads: "my ashes when they cremate me :33"

Lustlos from Sw

A tweet by derek guy @dieworkwear that reads: "i honestly dont know how rich ppl end up committing crimes. if i had even $500K, i would live so peacefully, mind my own business, wear my little outfits, and just feed birds."

Tsukuyomi

FUCK YEA

The image shows a text about the life and work of Niels Bohr, a physicist. The text discusses his impact on physics, his theories, and his role in history.

Adolf kitler

Four cartoon cats are depicted with descriptions of their character. The first cat is a black cat labelled "problem clan" and described as wanting to be cool, being sneaky, and always ending up with villains. The second cat is a beige cat labeled "I am speed" and described as being small, saying "get off my land," and thinking it is better than you. The third cat is a light blue cat labeled "swimmy" and described as starting a fight over some rocks, eating fish and forgetting who some people are. The last cat is an orange cat labeled "protagonist" and described as doing no wrong, being involved in everything, and related to everyone.

Evil Duck Lords Of America

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a yellow duck stands alone, and the text reads, "There is no grim reaper." In the second panel, the same duck stands with the text, "There is only the duck of death." In the third panel, the duck is walking, and the text says, "At the end he waddles in and claims your soul." In the fourth panel, a Grim Reaper is next to text that reads, "We only made up the grim reaper so you wouldn't feel so stupid about being killed by a duck." In the fifth panel, the duck stands with the text "But it's really just going to be this cute." In the final panel, the same duck is pulling a person by their foot. The person is lying on the ground with the text, "Please don't be all angry about this. It's just the way it is."

Heroin Monkey

A yellow smiley face with a brown hat, sad eyes, and a toothless grin is presented with a small plate of coins and a green leaf. Above the emoji are the words "Toyota CEO after the war ended in Syria".

Why should you care

The image shows two panels. The top left panel has a photo of a car bumper with a sticker saying 'ADULTS ON BOARD WE WANT TO LIVE TOO'. The bottom left panel shows a man with a sly smile saying 'Do we though?' On the right is a text post saying 'What doesn't end you only makes you develop a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.'

Adolf kitler

A cat looks up at the camera with wide eyes. The text on the image reads: "4 AM. EVERYONE IS ASLEEP. PERFECT TIME TO RUN FROM ONE END OF THE HOUSE TO THE OTHER AT FULL SPEED AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE."

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a social media post by MeeRa Rai stating, "I just ended a 5 year relationship." Raj King comments, "Are you okay!!!" MeeRa Rai replies, "It's okay it wasn't my relationship."

RapBoat Bonus

r/future
2h
Join
Homie said Future new tape is mid - ended up
fucking his bitch
Discussion
Literally told him not to talk on my goat like that shit
was 8/10 MINIMUM. Asked his girl to meet up, told her
let's get some Mac Donald's, then she gave me head
ion even feel bad Lmaooo
↑ 88
○ 26
☑☑

Heroin Monkey

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

tabs1528

A Fox News headline reads "Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza". Below the headline is a mugshot of the Florida man.

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a traffic accident involving a Coca-Cola truck and a Mentos truck. The Mentos truck is tipped over on its side, and the caption reads, "I DON'T THINK YOU REALIZE HOW CLOSE WE CAME TO A WORLD ENDING EVENT."

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

big [fire] balls

naz
@Nazxca
There is only one thing girls want,
and it starts with a P and ends in
a S.

Adolf Nigler

When a Marvel movie reaches the credits.

A man is singing into a microphone. The caption below says, "But baby, baby somethin's tellin' me this ain't over yet."

Heroin Monkey

An image shows an ice cream bar with almonds with sections highlighted and labeled "ummmm...", "amazing", "amazing but will end soon". The last section is a picture of a beaver gnawing on a tree.

MEME LORD

Frogs in hats a
@laterundulator
i used to be so obsessed with this fucking pig
in such a fucked up sadistic way i would stare
at pictures of him for like hours on end and
envision myself hitting him with my grandpas
truck

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