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Family

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.

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Dead

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Snitch

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'

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Doctor

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The text reads, "The doctor waiting for the parents to stop crying about their dead son so he can announce the $300,000 medical bill." Below the text is a close-up of a man with a slight, almost uncomfortable, smile and a white coat.

Wife

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A still from a television program showing two muppets. Grover wears a blond wig and a brown jacket, while the other one is blue with a brown wig. The text says: "Grover mocks Mr. Johnson by dressing up as his dead wife."

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Motorcycle

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A cartoon character with a red face, wearing sunglasses, and smiling is displayed in the center. The text below the cartoon reads: "so long suckers! I rev up my motorcycle and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

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Dog

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a message conversation. The first message says 'Hi Dexter is dead' and the time is shown as 10:10. The second message says 'Hi Dexter is ready now!! Sorry stupid auto correct' and the time is shown as 10:11. Below the messages there is a picture of a dog on a leash.

Living

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A three-panel image from the movie Harry Potter. In each panel, Albus Dumbledore stands in a white space. The first panel reads, "Do not pity the dead Harry,". The second panel reads, "Pity the living.". The third panel reads, "And above all else, pity those that look at the top right corner."

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Rule

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, two figures are depicted. One on the left with a turban states three rules: "no wishing for death", "no falling in love", and "no bring back dead people." In the second panel, the same turbaned figure states, "There are 4 rules" while the other figure says, "I want my rifle to moan when I load a new mag."

Nose

Swf · 2 years ago

A two-panel meme. In the first panel, a man from "Tangled" holds a "Wanted" poster and complains that the drawing doesn't get his nose right. The second panel shows Voldemort from "Harry Potter" exclaiming, "At least you HAVE a nose!!!"

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Masturbation

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a meme with three cats and text on a pink and blue gradient background. The text reads: "Masturbation is necrophilia if you're dead inside. ...halt." The first cat is on the left, sitting upright. The second cat, at the top right, wears a police uniform. The third cat is fainter, at the bottom right.

Pokemon card

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A tweet saying, "Yo guys, I have this girls nudes should I keep em? She died so idk. Since I have em and she's dead they are kinda like rare ass pokemon cards. Discontinued by manufacturer type shit," is shown above a screenshot of a concerned-looking chef from the movie Ratatouille.

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Search result

R3Y · 2 years ago

I FAMOUS NOW GUYS

A screenshot of a Google search result for the term "TheUsedFleshlightConnoisseur." The search results include links to worstjokesever.com and an Instagram post by rufuswainwright.

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Booty

BOOTY$MACKA · 2 years ago

A drawing of a skeleton hugging someone's bare buttocks with the text "When you're dead inside but you still love the booty."

Bae

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows two screenshots of a woman. In the first one, she is smiling, and the text says, "Oh, he's cute and smiling." In the second, her face looks angry and serious, and the text says, "I'm gonna go make him wish he was dead."

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Sperm

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

The image shows a still from the movie Ratatouille where Remy, the rat chef, is experiencing intense sensory pleasure from food, indicated by the vibrant colors and swirling patterns around him. The text at the top reads: 'when you mix your dead wife's eggs with your now dead son's sperm and drink the mixture without feeling bad about it because it's technically not cannibalism'

Cat

Wade · 2 years ago

An illustration shows a man in a white coat stating, "I don't know if the cat is dead or alive until I watch inside the box." A box is below with a text bubble stating "Miaow." Another bubble says "Shut Up."

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Condom

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The text on the image says: "My expired condom that has been in my wallet for years when I see a dead pig on the side of the road."

Condom

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The text says: "My expired condom that has been in my wallet for years when I see a dead pig on the side of the road." The image is a dark and blurry shot through a fence.

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