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Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

A man with a beard and a white turban is shown in a video. Below the video there is a comment that says, "Shame he's dead, imagine if we had him on the Joe Rogan Podcast."

The image shows four panels from the movie The Sixth Sense. In the first panel, a young boy is looking afraid and the text reads 'I SEE DEADPOOL'. The second panel shows a man talking to the boy, and the text reads 'YOU MEAN 'DEAD PEOPLE''. In the third panel, the boy is saying 'NO, DEADPOOL. HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.' The fourth panel shows Deadpool standing behind the man.

Real 😔

A dark image with a text overlay that reads: "POV: 7 year old me after holding my piss in all night seeing the sun rise knowing Springtrap can't get me." Below the text is a photo of a sunrise.

Wade, What did you do? You're grounded for life.

A stylized image of Deadpool in a police lineup. Above him is the word "WANTED." He is holding a sign that reads "DEADPOOL" and below that a number "8308 7353".

lol

The image is a book cover with a cartoon of a sad-looking, long-necked dinosaur. The text says, "All my friends are still dead." Below the title is "Avery Monsen and Jory John" and "Authors of the national bestseller All my friends are dead."

10InchesDeepIntoYourMother 🔛🔝 🔥🔥🔥

A meme with a pink background and an image of Gordon Ramsay's face in the top right corner. The text on the image says, "build a gordon ramsay insult". The meme has three columns under the "this is you" format to build an insult, the columns are organized by digit of birth date or like.

A skeleton with pink fairy wings and a blue tutu is holding a wand and dancing. The text says, "When you're dead inside but your best friend needs emotional support:".

Wait, that's not the line

A black and white drawing of a man with a beard yelling. There is a speech bubble with the text "WE ARE NOT THE WALKING DEAD!"

Guide to surviving Scream(1996)

The image displays the text: "The Rules of Surviving a Horror Movie in Scream (1996). According to Wes Craven's horror slasher movie Scream (1996), these are the rules to surviving a horror movie: 1. Never say "who's there". 2. Don't have sex. 3. Don't drink or do drugs. 4. Never say "I'll be right back". 5. Everyone is a suspect. 6. Never go out to investigate a strange noise. Bonus: The supposedly dead killer may come back to life in the end for one final scare." On the right, there is a depiction of the Ghostface mask.

A picture of Albus Dumbledore with the text: "I'm sorry about your parents, but no spell can reawaken the dead, Harry. I trust you know that. Except for the Time Turner. We'll use that to save Buckbeak."

When strict parents👍

The text on the image reads: "Jas: or shows a pic of my dead bf bc my dad snapped his neck."

FNAF in a nutshell

The image is a two-panel comparison. The top panel shows a yellow bear character in a car looking shocked, with the text "How are you not dead?" The bottom panel shows a rabbit character with a purple bow tie and a wide grin standing on a road with a destroyed section in the background, saying "I have no idea!".

Dead Ghosty Boyz

A cartoon image shows Springtrap sitting on the floor with blood around him. He is surrounded by five white ghost figures with black eyes. Below this picture is the text: "avenging my immortal soul with the squad".

Little bit.

The image shows a comic panel with two figures, one in a dark outfit with a skull emblem, and the other in a white hooded outfit. The dark figure is asking: "Hello, Marc, you still crazy?" The white figure is responding with: "Little bit. You still murdering people?" The dark figure responds: "Little bit. How's your imaginary god?" The white figure then replies: "He's good. How's your dead family?"

A photo of IShowSpeed and Cristiano Ronaldo. On the bottom is a text stating "NEWS ISHOWSPEED FOUND DEAD AFTER CHOKING ON RONALDO'S BALLS. The dick riding was too insane it ended up causing his death. SN".

HARRY POTTER MEMES

The image contains a collage of different scenes and text from the Harry Potter movies. In one image, Umbridge says 'ADMIT IT. YOU WANTED HER DEAD MORE THAN VOLDEMORT!' Another image contains Dumbledore saying 'I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, BUT NO SPELL CAN REAWAKEN THE DEAD, HARRY. I TRUST YOU KNOW THAT. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME TURNER. WE'LL USE THAT TO SAVE BUCKBEAK.' Another image says 'Neville's parents... They suffered something worse than death. What?' Another image shows Voldemort with the text 'VOLDEMORT IS AFTER SOMETHING. SOMETHING HE DIDN'T HAVE LAST TIME. A NOSE?' Another image shows Harry and Ron with Hermione, and the text 'I HAVE MY ARMY' 'WE HAVE NOSES'. Another image shows a random woman saying 'ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS RUN STRAIGHT INTO THAT BRICK WALL OVER THERE AND YOU'LL END UP ON PLATFORM 9 AND 3/4. RANDOM WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET TELLS YOU TO RUN INTO A BRICK WALL IN ORDER TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.' and 'SOUNDS LEGIT'. Another image asks 'Why is the Ravenclaw symbol an eagle? What other animal would you want it to be?'. and 'maybe, a Raven?'. The last image has the text 'HOW TO BUILD A PREST'

killer of bears 101

who wouldnt?

Two women are smiling at each other. The text on the image says: "A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body." JIM HAYES

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message says: "Just take a minute and think about Riley's retarded hair cut. Shut up look at your greasy ass hair." The next message says: "Have you not released I don't give a small singular shit about my hair." The following message says: "There's probably shit in your hair." Finally, the last messages read: "It looks better than whatever dead raccoon has been super glued onto your forehead. But Yeah probably."

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