Candy

Candy memes

Foot

ill suck on that big toe for 5 bucks in the back of an alley way to be honest

The image consists of two parts. On the left, there is an image of a 'Foot by the Foot' candy package with the text "NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS" and "HAND FREE". The package shows feet with arms instead of legs. The text also says, "35lb (15875.7g) ROLL 1 [25.36 FEET PER ROLL] PER FOOT 9001 CALORIES 5 TOENAILS 0 BUNIONS". On the right, there is an image of a single foot with a large toe and the text "imagine if we had one giant toe instead of multiple little ones". There are also small feet in heels shown in the upper left corner.

Jokes

Man

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

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  • Addiction

    A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

    He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

    He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

    Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

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