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Shitpost master-general

Not quite my tempo

A stack of blue cigarettes with orange filters on a white plate. Red text is superimposed over the image showing mathematical calculations: 9 rows of 32 equals 288, one row of 31, and several other rows adding up to 175, for a total of 463. The text at the top reads 'THEY LIED TO US' and '463 CIGARETTES'.

A screenshot of a computer screen showing a severe moderation notice from an online platform. The title reads "Family Execution on 7/30". The text below states, "Our content monitors have determined that your behavior is a violation of our Terms of Use. Reviewed: 5/28/2020 12:03:19 AM (CT). Moderator Note: A Hitman Will be Sent to Your House. Reason: Inappropriate. Offensive Item: yo waffles are kinda fire ngl. Your Family Will Die. If you wish to appeal, please contact us via the Support." A "Logout" button is visible at the bottom right.

A screen capture of a video shows a person standing in front of a building, with text overlaying the image that reads: "how I budget $15K/MONTH ALLOWANCE as a 19 y.o. Ivy League student NYC." Below the video, a comment reads: "I think you should take your own life."

A screenshot of a Discord chat between two users. The first user, with the name Doll, admits to being hypersexual and horny. The second user initially responds with understanding, but then states that they were thinking of the first user while they were having these feelings. The first user responds with "That's bad."

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The image shows a meme with text "MY ADHD" above a picture of a man with a confused expression. Below it, it says "how to have a conversation?" and shows four options: "A: interrupt them", "B: trip over your words", "C: zone out", "D: get really excited about the topic and freak them out." Below this another meme with the text "ADHD THERAPIST: WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW?" and a picture of a person looking overwhelmed. Below this the text says "Me: My mind is like an Internet browser. 19 tabs open, 5 of them are frozen & I have no idea where the music is coming from." A third meme to the right says "Nobody:" and "ADHD:"

WHY

A screen displays text asking: "Why is every poo poo time a pee pee time but not all pee pee times are poo poo times?" The text "DOD MESSAGES" is displayed below the question. The screen is part of a larger picture showing a cluttered table.

A screenshot of a satirical news article featuring a photo of Mitch McConnell. The headline reads: 'Republican Congressmen Worried Trans Member Might Make Coke Orgies Awkward'. The article excerpt states: 'WASHINGTON, D.C. - Multiple Republican senators and representatives expressed worry that adding trans members to Congress would make their monthly coke...'

A wooden box propped up by a stick, with a pile of tacos underneath. A news article about Donald Trump's supposed plan to round up immigrants is overlaid on top of the image.

If only true Americans voted:

A United States map is displayed with states colored red or blue to represent an election outcome. The legend shows Harris with 31 electoral votes and Trump with 337, suggesting a landslide victory for Trump. The user can select a party, show a toss-up, or a third party and see the state breakdown below.

A picture of a green pit in a yard. The text states that the person dumped a bunch of stuff in the pit.

A screenshot of a forum where the first user argues that arrays should start at one and that there can never be 0 of anything. The second user replies with the question: "Number of women you've slept with"

A vintage comic book cover features Batman on the left and The Diddler on the right. The Diddler is holding bottles of 'gummy' and 'dairy' while saying 'Diddle me this, Batman!'. The text at the top reads, 'Batman versus The Diddler!'

L

A screenshot of an online forum conversation. The first comment asks how Slovenia and Slovakia are different, pointing out similar flags and names. The second comment replies with a vulgar analogy, asking how the first user's face and ass are different, claiming they look the same and have similar crude functions.

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

me when

A brown horse is standing inside what appears to be a convenience store, with its head pointed down and a stream of yellow granular material coming out of its mouth and falling to the floor.

The image shows a test result paper with a list of diseases and their status. All except COVID-19 are listed as positive. At the bottom is text saying "Test results came back great ^-^"

The image is a screenshot of a Urban Dictionary entry for Kendrick Lamar, defining him as someone who recently won the beef with Drake. Below, a dialogue shows two friends. The first friend quotes a line from the song, seemingly unable to name an actual song, resulting in the second friend calling the first one a "fake fan".

The image is a screenshot of a chat. It shows a person, presumably Travis Scott, with a McDonald's flag in the background saying he needs 2000 dollars to get back to America and asks to send it through paypal. The next message questions his identity to which he responds with "Fin fin fin fin fin".

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