Make-up jokes
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
I got something in my eye
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop ‘til they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is corn’s favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?
A: It’s a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?
Community talk
Istfg if i get grounded for a month bc i couldn't make up work i didn't get to do yesterday.
Story time! Yesterday i was going to stay after for a club and a teacher, but i didn't know they were having a meeting during 8th period soo nothing got done and i ended up doing nothing but being on the site. Today i was going to stay after and do the work and i call my step-mom and told her that i didn't know the teachers had a meeting during 8th period. She tells me I'M grounded and go home, so i am basically doing nothing at home-
Hi. I'm Eloise. Jake and I have been together for 3 years and I am so tired of hearing about all of you hoes from people in my school. Amy and Madi, whoever you guys are, you're so lame. Someone posted your pics on ista....you guys are ugly lol nothing on me. Jake told me not to say anything but honestly this is stupid. If he wants to break up with me over this, I dont care. I'm too pretty to care. My hair isn't frizzy and I'm not fat. I also dont' need extra make up like madi or super tight clothes like amy. Yikes.
As a response to what Ihateant… said A lot of what you said is true, I admit that much, I’ve had lots of issue trying to get attention from others, had trouble controlling my temper, and had a god complex, however some of things I said are true, including thinking about unaliving myself in 6th grade, this was because of lots of bullying and just generally struggling with puberty. However, I’ve also been trying to wor… Read more