Lifespan jokes

My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.

The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!

I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.

He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.

He was my least favorite grandparent.

Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.

Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!

Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

Life's too short to want it.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.

I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.