Lifespan jokes
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
Life's too short to want it.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.