What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
its better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? happiness never lasts forever
your hairline so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life you go to your barber
This morning I was having a conversation with my ex boyfriend about reincarnation I said to him if you could come back in the next life as anything what would you come back as and he thought about it for a minute and says a tree that way everybody can look at me and admire me. Then he says the same thing to me I started thinking about it when these two sexy half naked studs walked by one was a jock the other on his bicycle I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat but knowing my luck I'll come back as a tampon
What is a yellow dog Libertarian? A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it 🐕 🗽
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer My life is like... the shoe rack-
yo mama so stupid your mama thinks that vr is real life.
yo mama so stupid she joined the squid game as a sea life lover bc she thought it was a game of whoever catches the most octopuses wins
confusion life question!!! . can you cry underwater? . do fishes ever get thirsty? . why don't birds fall out the tree when the sleep? . why is a building called that when its already built? . when they say dog food is new and improved, who taste is?
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home", they only had one option
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have incommon their life dosn't last long
So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."
