Last Word jokes

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.

My girlfriend's last words:

"I can’t wait to become a mom!"

I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

Famous last words.

Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?