How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day, when suddenly Johnny said,"Mom I think I'm gonna throw up" Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there". Johnny comes back a minute later and his mom asks,"Did you make it?", then Johnny said,"No, but there was a box by the door that SAID For The Sick"
Little Johnny Is such a woos
So little Johnny is walking down the street and askes a stranger “sir what are hormones?” Then the man replies “the moans of a fucking whore
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favourite teacher. One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas. The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas? Johnny Relied. Sorry miss my rabbit died.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog, with a sudden inspirational thought he picks the frog up, shoves a fire cracker up the frogs arse, lights the cracker and blows the frog to smithereens. Now at school the teacher asks the class :" Has any body got any thing for show and tell this morning"? Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis". "Ok Johnny, What do you have to share with the class today"? Little Johnny then says " Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frogs arse" the teacher interrupts and says " It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum". Johnny then says " Fucking oath it wrecked ; him'.
Little Johnny got told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say : I know the truth they give you money so little Johnny says to his mum I know the truth so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone so when little Johnny’s dad gets home little Johnny says I know the truth his dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone so little Johnny try’s it on the post man and says I know the truth and the post man says come here son
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: Do you have chocolate filled ice cream? The man replies: We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one? Johnny replies: Sure. After that the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later the man comes with a ice cream and Johnny's phone. Johnny asks: How much for the ice cream? The man replies: Nothing, its on the house. After Johnny ate hes delicious ice cream, he searched for hes watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
bob is johnny ahgaaghahahahaha
Why did the cow knock over johnny? Because the cow felt like to dumb
Johnny Johnny? Yes papa? Sniffing Cocane? YES SIRRR
Little Johnny went to the beach found some cocane and died the end
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist? Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older. || 20 YEARS LATER || Johnny: Mom now can you tell me why cuss words exist? Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them. Johnny: Damn Mom you shoulda told me that when I was still seven cuz now I really feel like that person.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings to words. "Sally, can you tell me what beautiful means?" Sally: "You.." Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what malicious means?" Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus." Teacher: "Great job Andrew! Now, what does fat mean? Johnny?" Johnny: "A pig." Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini-" Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me."
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?" Jo
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!
