Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force itπloser
imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back
Imagine if a disabled persons last name was runner or walker π¬π
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Girlfriend: "would still you love me if i was a figment of your imagination" my schizophrenic ass: of course i would
imagine this: u at math class. Teacher asks you βwut 11*11β. You say β120β. Teach syas βwrong!β You say βhow off was I?β Teach says β1β me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or smth liek tht
imagine if batman had a family reunion
imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "you have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Imagine being depressed couldnβt be me
What do you call a Titan who can't swim????? Titanic Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. my version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp it would be unsinkable. What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the ice berg ? I'm breaking up with you.
next time u see a Brit, go up to them and say:
Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston'
Iβm a god, and Iβm here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky but I lived. Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/
Imagine going up to a emo and saying your just like a spider your both good at hanging
