Hooked Up jokes

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Two mums hook up!

Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"

The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!

My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

Hey, you down to fuck?

No, I’m just down.

Guys to wind the clock up?

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.

"Was it hung?" her friend asks.

"No, he was shot."

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.