Hooked Up jokes

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.

"Was it hung?" her friend asks.

"No, he was shot."

I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Two mums hook up!

Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"

The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!

One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.