Home jokes

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because he doesn’t know where home is.

Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?

A family.

Why do orphans love foster homes?

Because they actually have a home.

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

Because they have no home.

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can't find home.

Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."