Home jokes
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!