Home jokes

The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.

When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.

She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.

I made a page for this orphan, but sadly it didn’t have a homepage.

Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have a home screen.

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

Why don't orphans go home at pickup?

Because they don't have parents to pick them up.

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.