Historical context jokes

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.

Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"