HI jokes

Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?

It took all his info!

Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?

Cosecant remember his own name.

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his carer lost his charger.

What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.

Hi? Bye.

Me: Hi Kallen.

Kallen: Hi.

Me: You're too big to fit in my car.

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

What did the mongol say to his dog?

Down syndrome!

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.

Why did the rapper bring a suitcase to the studio?

Because he was packing his rhyme books!

How does a rapper start his day?

With a MIC check!

Why did the rapper become an electrician?

Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

Where does Caesar keep his armies?

Up his sleavies.

A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.

Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."

The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!

Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"

The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.

Man: "Dolly!"

He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in French, and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city, as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking. I will never shiver at the sight [of] words.

I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

Did you laugh?

JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.