What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?
"Need help packing your shit?"
HI Jokes
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Hi, I like food.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.
Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.
