HI jokes
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"