HI jokes

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Orphan: Throws a boomerang.

Boomerang: Comes back with his father.

Father: Goes to get milk.

What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?

"Need help packing your shit?"

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Tiles.

WTF did you think he’d tile it with?

Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?

His internet connection ran out.

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.

Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.

You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

He waited for three hours to get an answer.

His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.

He hugged me!

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."

Hi, I like food.