Herring jokes
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.