Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
Herring Jokes
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
