Hereness jokes

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

A hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"