Help Desk jokes

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?