Hatch jokes

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

When do eggs hatch?

At the CRACK of dawn!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Bless you!

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?

Really?

Well, the one I fucked did.

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Why doesn't my egg want to crack?

Because I hate my egg-sistence.