Nest jokes

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

Why did the chicken crack the safe?

To get to her nest egg.

What did the bird say to the other bird?

Nothing, because birds can't talk.

Bald Eagle.

When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.

What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?

An eagle-lastic band!

Where do Eagles send their children to study?

The Alpha birds.

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There are twenty of them.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.

I like turtles.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.