Harper jokes

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.