Harper jokes

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.