HA jokes
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
My "friend" has dyslexia.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Donald Trump has been banned from Panera.
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Who has no home?
Orphans.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What's the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers?
The Leaning Tower of Pisa has better reflexes.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
What is deez + nuts = deez nuts, ha!
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.