HA jokes
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.