HA jokes

Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.

Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.

How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?

It has an extra crumb-osome.

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.