HA jokes

What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.

Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.

How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?

It has an extra crumb-osome.

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.