Gun violence jokes
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.