How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it's a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
