How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
School shooting: Happens.
Foreign Exchange Student: Starts sobbing under desk.
American Student: "First time?"
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
